SPHINX DREAM OF THE SUCCUBUS
I will relate an experience, which of a general account, I had as a changeling childe. The initial phase was that of waking up in total utter terror, not long after I went to sleep.
I couldn’t tell anyone; who would have believed me, anyway. In retrospect it is just as well that I had not told no one. What was I going to, say, “hey, I think I’m being strangled every night by the Sphinx out of ancient Greek mythology.” They would have of course seen me as being absolutely insane. Then again, who knows, they might of replied, “don’t you mean the ancient Egyptian Sphinx?”
I to reply, “Nah! The Egyptian Sphinx was originally of the Jackal headed deity of the Abyss leading to the Duat, called Anubis.”
I to then continue, “I’m speaking of the winged female Sphinx, having an Ouroboros of a Snake as her tail, the Greek’s spoke of, that was used for the front cover of H,G Wells, Time Machine; she’s the real Cat-Woman, strangler.”
It definitely did feel as if I was being strangled by something, to the point of choking, gagging for air; or that of being of similarity to drowning.
Since I was experiencing this strangulation every time I went to sleep I intended to find out what was going on, by doing some extensive research.
My research led me to Hebrew folklore concerning the Succubus, called Lilith, who is described as having a liking for strangling infants, let alone sexually seducing males. H,P Lovecraft would have probably equated Lilith with a salacious Great Old One, to otherwise term as a Nightgaunt.
But there was little or no information about the experience at the time of the pre-internet, or since, apart from a load of fear porn bollocks about malign aliens, shadow people, interdimensional reptilians, Annunaki from planet ‘X,’ or Biblical Demons, etc, etc, take your reptilian-brain-stem, zap pick, of Moorlock media hewn horror Creepypasta.
Saying that, I was absolutely terrified of going to sleep many a night; Hell! I had to keep the light on much of the time, that, or getting naps during the day. But even then I would suddenly wake up sensing I was being strangled by some shadowy presence, which had patiently waited for me to fall asleep.
I decided to utilise meditation in an attempt to offset the terror of the experience, or at the very least prepare for it. I then accessed the hypnagogic state at the point of sleep, this was when the strangulation often occurred, which involved sleep paralysis.
I knew from previous experiences, not to become afraid, otherwise I would find my terror being reflected back at me of varying horrors.
But due to the prior meditation, I otherwise relaxed into the experience; as I did so, I had the distinct sensation of an inner energy, ascending along the back of my neck, flowing through fibrous channels; I could physically feel it, as well as see this energy, as if I was looking into my own brain with X-Ray eyes.
This energy looked like a cool electric blue light, which appeared to be blocked in my throat area, within the area of my reptilian brain-stem. I came to the conclusion that it was this blockage, which was causing the sensation of choking. Although, I must admit, I did feel as if I was being haunted by a ghost at times.
I then decided to take the meditation further, by meditating upon certain symbolic stimuli, which of esoteric associations, corresponded with the throat area. The utilised imagery alluded to the choking sensation I was experiencing. At first I was using the meditation to control my need for sleep, or should I say, attempting to avoid it. Hence I was drinking copious amounts of black coffee, until I pissed it like an espresso machine.
Going by my research it seemed that the blockage of energy appeared to be associated with what is termed as the arousal of the Kundalini Shakti, in Tantric Yoga practices, which I had gathered together of various accounts, from rare sources. However, much of the information about the Kundalini Shakti, which is personified as a Goddess, who is otherwise known as the fire snake, was couched in labyrinthine esoteric psychobabble.
While I conducted the meditations I utilised the breathing techniques as described by a gnarled library book on Transcendental Meditation I had picked up.
The reason for my choice at the time, was that it was straight forward, of matter of fact instruction, which was not peppered with mind-bending Hindu metaphysics; the laughing Buddha book was otherwise Hippie humorous of Beatle’s Magical Mystery Tour insight.
I also did the meditations, while listening to hypnotic beat trance music, or that of otherwise dancing in order to induce a light trance state, which was basically, controlled day dreaming, about the material I had researched in order to attain further insights into it. Said day dreaming, Jung would otherwise call Active Imagination.
The sensation of strangulation lessened for a while, until one day, after returning home from school, feeling absolutely exhausted, I fell into a deep swoon; as I did so, a presence descended upon me. I had the distinct sensation of hands around my throat.
But this time, I was prepared. rather than reacting in terror, I uttered a pre-prepared Mantra within my mind. As I intoned the Mantra, the experience suddenly changed to that of soothing feminine hands around my throat, of a sensuous caress.
The feline fingers of her hands then expertly traced out an energy flow along the back of my neck towards the back of my head, as she did so, I then had the sensation of falling backwards into a great void, where Anubis to Howl, the Moorlocks to fear.
The void was all encompassing of nothingness, into which I had fallen. The terror of which I had negated by repeatedly ‘Howling’ out the Mantra over and over again, while I fell, leaving my corporal capsule behind of a body, knowing not where I was descending into. But it felt as if I was falling towards the centre of the Earth, or somewhere quite other, floating in space.
I then found myself falling into my bed, to then awaken; feeling quite exhilarated, because I had overcome my fear. But I also felt a bit disappointed that nothing else had happened apart from awakening back into my bed. I lay there awhile pondering what had just happened of an awesome experience.
I then got out of my bed, in order to go to my art table near the window, through which the light of the Moon bathed my room. Everything seemed to be the same, all very real. It was no dream, as far as I was concerned; I felt very much aware, more so in fact, as I decided to look out of my window.
As I looked out of my window, I realised I was not in Kansas anymore. The usual panorama, was that of an urban jungle of houses and factories surrounding an allotment, which of little sky to see, was and still is polluted by the glare of city lights.
I instead, found myself confronted by a wide open countryside of rolling hills, bathed by the light of the Moon amidst a night sky full of bright stars; in the far distance I noticed what seemed to be a group of small brick houses, from whose chimneys bluish smoke drifted.
As far as I could tell they were human habitations, but as to their architectural design I was uncertain. I was not sure if I had accessed the past, future or some other alternate world.
Suffice to say, I was totally awe struck. I then became aware that I was probably experiencing a vivid lucid dream, which I tested by jumping up into the air, to see if I would float around like a disembodied bubble; but instead, gravity sharply pulled my physicality down.
It was more real than real. It then struck me, that I may have died in my sleep; as I was pondering this possibility, which started to make me very afraid, I became aware that I was being watched by some unknown presence. I looked over to where it could be, whereupon I noticed my door had been opened.
The presence turned out to be a Witch, who brought me back. But not before experiencing other… adventures.
I to have wondered, whether she had ‘conjured’ me into her world…
I felt as if I was away for ages, but when to have again awakened, I found I had been asleep for but a short while, nor was it night, as before the departure, when I awoke.
Anyway, to cut a long story short. I have since noticed that when I enter into certain emotional states, of what could be construed as being that of awe, or being inspired, I have the distinct sensation of an electrical type of energy around my throat, like that of wearing a vibrating serpentine Torc, which expands outwards, of a kind of disk, or a web spreading out, connected to everything, making all to feel quite different to me of quality, as if… Time… has stood still.
When the energy becomes quite acute, it then arises along the back of my neck to the back of my head, which can then ascend to the top of my skull.
Whereupon I feel as if my head is opening up; as this happens, strange out of the ordinary things tend to occur, of tuning into ‘alternate’ Ouroboros possibilities; but ‘Nothing… Negative.’ Whether you believe me or not as the case maybe, I really do not care; best find out for your-own-Self.