WHY DO WITCHES LOVE CTHULHU?

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Have you ever wondered why Cthulhu always seems to get the girls to eat? He’s brash, cocky and he marches to the beat of his own mad drum out of Ryleh. He’s totally over the Godzilla edge, bordering on Arkham asylum insanity and doesn’t give a damn about anyone apart from himself; what exactly do Witches see in Cthulhu?

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You consider yourself an outgoing Lovecraftian Mage, though conservative; interesting, but a little shy; you can keep a conversation going with the right people in your politically correct Lodge, with whom you perfectly fit into of a quaint peer group… sounds good doesn’t it? But, why does an infernal outsider like Cthulhu always seem to get the Witches?

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Here are Seven planetary reasons why:

SATURN: Cthulhu is confident

That’s right. Cthulhu wouldn’t be able to pull off half of the Necronomicon antics that he indulges in if he wasn’t brimming over with Azathoth confidence. Cthulhu isn’t just confident around his worshippers, either – his Yog-Sothoth cavalier attitude is in everything he does, from eating a sacrificial Goat in the morning, to asking a shocked dog-collared Priest for a cool glass of holy water… to chatting up the Witches dancing around a Dagon altar at a devotee’s Sabbat. No matter where you look, Witches find Cthulhu’s confidence a major turn on.

JUPITER: Cthulhu is indifferent

Cthulhu simply doesn’t give a damn. He can take it or leave it. That’s one reason why he fares well with Witches. If a Witch says no, he doesn’t care at all? He moves on as a Hastur whirlwind to the next victim, and he does it with the same Skinwalker verve and maverick attitude as he did the last Witch. Here be an arcane quote: “A Great Beast doesn’t necessarily care if he is a Great Beast.” That’s indifference in a nutshell.

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MERCURY: Cthulhu is exciting and adventurous

Ask yourself, “when was the last time I took a psychedelic walk on the surreal wild side?” If you are asking yourself that question, then you obviously aren’t a rebellious fallen Angel like Cthulhu. You see, Cthulhu is always testing the imprisoning boundaries of society along with pushing the envelope of the space-time continuum Angel-angles when it comes to his Maya Matrix existence – and Witches can’t get enough of his Nyarlthotep consciousness expansion. They find his alien intelligence to not only be highly attractive but also Tesla intriguing. And when you put exciting and adventurous beside the other rebellious planetary traits of Cthulhu, it sends Witches into an ecstatic trance.

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MOON: Cthulhu is challenging, brutal and mysterious

Witches have no time for Warlocks that are pushovers, whom pander to what is considered to be politically correct by a brainwashed flock of Sheep. They also don’t like smiling Jesus’s, they can be seen cumming a mile away due to their sodium fluoride smiles to duly Crucify. Contrary to popular belief Witches are attracted to Cthulhu, because they can’t read his infernal soul, whose thoughts are hidden from their inquisitional questioning. Cthulhu goes where Witches can never go, when to transverse the Abyss, to travel internal across the Dune desert of the Inorganic Intelligence of the Allies as a ‘Don Juan’ Matus. He is a psychonaut dreamer of microcosmic possibilities as well as being a stalker of macrocosmic synchronicities, which sets him aside as a psychic gangster, whose exploratory phallic tentacles provides them with a sense of being always on the dangerous twilight edge of forever. Witches actually love to guess at the possibilities of becoming Cthulhu’s bestial Werewolf priestesses or to otherwise end up as his necrophilia Vampire vore meals! It is challenging for them; they love to hate him, hate to love him, which of an age old cross-cultural contradiction is why Witches are so attracted to Cthulhu’s amphibious shapeshifting nature; whereby the Witches keep on coming back for more of his depraved Mythos!

MARS: Cthulhu is very masculine

This often goes hand-in-hand with being confident as a God incarnate, indifferent as a Buddha, Heyoka exciting, Avadhuta adventurous… etc. Cthulhu is very reptilian brainstem Yig rugged and in-Illuminati-control. That doesn’t mean controlling others, apart from controlling his own self. Cthulhu knows how to intelligently get what he wants. Cthulhu speaks clearly and confidently, who always looks you in the bloodshot eye, as well as being passionate about what he knows of personal necromancy experience… but most importantly, Cthulhu has an in depth passionate knowledge of how to treat a Witch as his Babalon.

SOL: Cthulhu gives Witches a feeling of power

The illusion of control is often more powerful than control itself of Samsara show. Power within a relationship, power outside of a relationship – it doesn’t matter of Tantric ritual – being with Cthulhu, encompasses all of the above traits, which gives Witches a fifth element of inner strength and outward togetherness. Essentially the Azathoth confident, cocky Great Beast image rubs off a little bit on her of an alchemical Rose tint – and she laps it up as his Babalon, who secretly desires to birth his mutant Moon-Childe of an evolutionary leap; Hell! Said childe may end becoming the Dagon president of the Abrahamic New-World-Order of Innsmouth. Basically, Witches brains have been hardwired to chase after Cthulhu; they can’t help themselves of a genetic imperative.

VENUS: Cthulhu knows how to talk to Witches

If Cthulhu wasn’t confident, he wouldn’t be a Witch magnet. Instead of indifferent, he would be hideously self-conscious and nervously non-committal (how many Witches have you passed up because you didn’t consider yourself to be a much maligned Beast?) – you see, Cthulhu doesn’t care about what others say, whatsoever. Cthulhu arises out of Ryleh to the challenge of taking over the world, living the wild side of life. Cthulhu is far more than a mere stereotypical good-guy, who invariably ends up being Crucified by Witch Nuns, whom consume the flesh and blood of their scapegoat Christ after dumping their Sins all over him of emotional crap. Cthulhu prefers being the Ante-Christ to otherwise dish out his man juice, upon which the ever hungry Witches to feast. Cthulhu always keeps a Witch guessing about him – and in turn inspiring her own Shub Niggarrath priestess potential – it’s an explosive combination! And one that is geared to success for the dating Great Beast.

This combination transforms the talking part into an unsaid Coitus Pactum – considering the Witch’s interest has already been sparked of an inferno between her quivering legs. Talking with them is to do with casting out barbed spell formulae, which reels the Mermaids in. And the Great Beast knows how to tell a Babalon just what she wants to hear of a baited hypnotic spell.

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Cthulhu knows how to talk to Witches of woven spells, because he is all of the above. Supreme confidence followed up with total indifference, enshrouded by arcane mystery, along with Necronomicon intrigue and dark excitement is what attracts most Witches to chase him. That gets the Great Beast into their Moon lodge to talk with them; no other to know outside of the drawn circle. Once they’re interested, a Great Beast has to show them what he has to offer, while keeping his other Tarot cards well under the altar. Cthulhu never tells all of divination; whereby he keeps them guessing. Figuring out the ritualistic observations is the Magick of Sorcery. Cthulhu uses his conversational skills of tentacle spells to hypnotise a Witch, who invariably ends up becoming entirely entangled of bound up interest, desiring to be his chained Babalon priestess, wanting to be entirely consumed within his all encompassing fifty-shades of grey shadow.

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Cthulhu is able to sense the auras of Witches within their domain of the microcosmic womb dream, to thence intuitively hunt them down, upon a lunar cycle, macrocosmic synchronicity. When awake, Cthulhu stalks the Ley-lines interlinking sites of power, where Witches to gather; for they do collectively whisper of a ‘Chaos Unitarian Nun Templar‘ chant, within each and every cell of their being: “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.” It’s biological, Witches just can’t help themselves loving Cthulhu.

NOTE: There are some who believe that disastrous relationships with rebounds is Karmic retribution, which is meted out by their ‘Animus’ deified as a God, because said individuals who have been crapped all over by rebounds is due to them dallying with an ‘Animus’ Devil. Such a religiously hewn perspective is inanely imbecilic, which is usually espoused by hypocritical serial dumpsters.

Rebounds are still insanely fixated upon a previous relationship, who, because of the intensity of their emotional pain, often get involved with someone else just after a relationship breakup, who are usually the one who is dumped; being dumped can drive you to near insanity; whereby a hurt individual will seek release from their inner pain by quickly getting involved with someone else.

This invariably leads to the rebound putting another individual through what they had experienced, which is essentially dumping. In other words, the hurt individual works out his/her emotional issues by crapping over someone else, because the prior partner is unavailable to tear apart. Hence, someone else becomes the scapegoat!

The dumped on individual then becomes a rebound himself/herself, who, if they are not too careful dumps on another, and so it goes on, until someone breaks the repetitive cycle, which requires healing himself/herself first before ever considering getting involved with someone else; wherefore taking responsibility for how he/she interacts with others out of respect.

Those who blindly dump their emotional crap over another do not have any respect for themselves or for others feelings, since they are far too tied up with the individual who had dumped them; so, if you find yourself meeting someone, who during the first initial conversations mentions that he/she has just broken up with someone; be very, very careful. 

Even so, it can be very difficult to determine that an individual you find yourself involved with is a rebound, and more so difficult to emotionally extricate yourself from the fractious situation when you have made a commitment to the relationship. Just make sure you do not dump on another, otherwise you will have to deal with your own conscience.

When not to dump yourself, you can then return the dump back to the dumpster, otherwise you will end up in the dump.  

The period of healing from a relationship breakup is of the same duration as mourning; it takes time to heal; the duration of which will be dependent on the intensity of the previous relationship and how long it had lasted for.   

If you are interested, Check Out an updated, alternative version of this page, involving associated planetary sphere FLASH GAMES: CLICK HERE.

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