HOGWARTS PORNOGRAPHIC GRIMOIRE SHOPPE
A BANNED HARRY POTTER OCCULT PLAY STARRING BABALON WITCH HERMIONE
SETTING: Diagon Alley is a fictional Harry Potter high street located in Londonium. It is only accessible to the Wizarding world, to which it is something of an economic hub.
Although it is hidden away from mundane Muggles (non-Magickal folk). Muggles are only allowed access to it, if they need to accompany their Muggle-born Moon-Children. If a Wizard or Witch needs something, chances are that it can be found in Diagon Alley.
However, the Diagon Alley of this arcane sketch is that of an alternate reality version, which is none too different to the red-light district of Londonium’s Soho. Imagine for now, the camera panning in to follow the predatory catwalk of Babalon Witch Hermione, who is of the house of Slytherin.
She has raven pitch black hair and emerald green fire eyes. Although as a strawberry blond with delectable hazel eyes, she is very, very naughty; and as you know, blonds know how to have lots of… fun.
Anyway, Babalon Witch Hermione looks like a dangerous Goth girl sex vamp, who is dressed of similarity to a St Trinian’s sixth-form Catholic schoolgirl femme fatale Lolita. She is also followed by her pet familiar of a fluttering vampire Bat.
As Babalon Witch Hermione is tracked by your Illuminati third eye of a camera, you seer her to go through a Vesica-Pisces doorway into a seedy pornographic shoppe, which sells banned Necronomicon Grimoires.
Your remote viewing camera eye then cuts to the inside of the shoppe where you seer an untidy room with a large oak counter of an altar, and old dusty Grimoires on shelves lining the cracked walls, along with varying magickal paraphernalia.
The Grimiores on the bottom shelf are of the usual Llewellyn worldwide fare, whose subliminal meme covers depict medieval Gothic and New-Age Native American Shamanistic imagery. As for those Grimoires on the top shelf, they are seen to be covered by a heavy black cloth.
You will seer three drably dressed Masonic Wizards, who are seen to be thumbing through the bottom shelf Grimores. A fourth Masonic Wizard is flamboyantly dressed, who is called Mr Priestly Pope. The three Wizards are wearing dirty Tau-shirts, on each is depicted a particular animal, a Lion, Eagle and a Bull.
Behind the counter is a sorcerer dressed in a smart black suit, wearing a black fedora hat whose name is Faustus Crow.
The three drably dressed Masonic Wizards are very perturbed by the sudden, almost brazen entrance of Babalon Witch Hermione. The three Masonic Wizards nervously back off into the shadows, who fear Babalon Witch Hermione discovering what they are furtively up to under their soiled Freemason aprons. The fourth Wizard appears to be oblivious of her presence.
Babalon Witch Hermione makes the sign of the ‘Horns’ at the four Wizards as she seductively passes by them; while to expertly ‘Blow-Job’ a hot ‘Boaz and Joachim’ scarlet bubblegum bubble, which bursts with an explosive pop, as she walks between two ‘towering’ pillars! Babalon Witch Hermione confidently goes straight to the altar of a counter, upon which she coquettishly leans, before making her inquisitive enquiry of the shoppe owner, Faustus Crow.
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: Excuse me Mr. Do you have any ribald, risky tomes, illustrating hunky Incubi, by any chance? All 72 of them have to be, sweaty and macho, exuding fusion centre testosterone, through every patriot act astral pore, both police state Angelic and Demonic. The tomes I’m into have to be liberally sprinkled with arcane ritualistic formulae, and accompanying viral meme sigils, to conjure my desired Incubi.
(Her words are spoken seductively while staring intently at Faustus, whom she is hungrily eyeing up.)
FAUSTUS CROW: Of course Madam. You can find such Grimoire’s, which will fulfill all your lustful requirements on the bottom-shelf of widely available brainwash fare. Those tomes, both ancient and modern, have been officially endorsed by the top homophobic theologians, misogynistic demonologists and Inquisitional closet-homosexual exorcists of the Vatican; as well as by many a persecuted Cabbalist, fundamentalist Dervish and anally retentive Western occultist, who practice the high art of ritual Magick. Such in turn to make piles of Mammon money out of their published works. Hence these Abrahamic authors have big Swiss bank accounts, just like their lacy Pope, which impresses the Illuminati Hen’s, who actually rule the roost of the World, laying golden LAM eggs.
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: I hope you don’t mind me asking you this question, ever so kinky. But, how can I make these astral Chippendale hunks of machismo prowess, do my every temple bidding, as my pet Incubi sex slaves? I mean, if Solomon could get the Incubi to enter unto his royal behind, how can I get them to likewise enter me, as my very familiar… familiars?
FAUSTUS CROW: Well. Madam, like many a Ritual Magician to do, you have to constrain the Incubi into bound bondage, by torturing their Spirit seals, to whip and flagellate, or to rip apart, or to burn within your sacred censer made of brass. It be akin to torturing them within the sadomasochistic torture chamber of your fetish imagination. Whereby you will become as a leather clad dominatrix of a mistress, to make your familiars lick your Venus in Fur’s stiletto heeled boots. They will then become all servile of Solomon’s slaves, bound to your true Sheba will, amidst your wrought Magick circle.
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: That sounds ever so exciting. I relish the thought of torturing hunky Angels and Demons. Forcing these Incubi to fulfill my every delicious wish, to make them manifest into ethereal flesh, as my most servile pet familiars, to whip into shape, makes me ever so… wet. But, what do I have to do in return for such favours granted unto me, by such masculine divinities, all as Solomon’s slavish Genies?
(Lustfully enquires, full of mischief, acting very coquettish.)
FAUSTUS CROW: My Dear Madam, such a question is as obvious as your pretty little feminine nose to know. Like their temporal counterparts of many a beast, they only do as you ask of them, if they can enter their stiffened Athames unto your moistened chalice, betwixt your kicking legs. Whereby you to thence engage in a sexual pact of Tantric interaction with the Angelic and Demonic fluctuations, of your internal Animus. In other words, if your Incubi do not do as you bid them. Then they don’t get any conjugal night time nibbles, of your gifted sexual energy, to go explosive of multiple Orgasms!
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: Oh Wow! Can they really induce Loudun Nun multiple orgasms?
FAUSTUS CROW: Yes indeed Madam. On a regular basis, around the circadian rhythm clock of the blood Moon phases, when you to Shekhinah dream lucid of their carousing Sabbat visitations betwixt and between, both good-cop God and bad-cop Devil; for you, and your receptive receptacle Sisters in the Ursuline Hood, to also intimately know.
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: Yummy!
(Hermione’s lustful eyes become as burning green embers; while licking her painted scarlet lips, at the thought of engaging in Orgiastic Sabbat delights, of astral hedonism. As Hermione plans her next move on Faustus, Mr Pope Priestly, a rather well groomed male approaches. He is wearing a flamboyant pink shirt, framed by a white Masonic suit, looking like an Aleister Crowley look-alike, of large physique, bald head, sporting a monocle, holding a pink walking cane. Mr Pope Priestly suddenly interjects into the conversation.)
MR POPE PRIESTLY: Hello my dearest, dearest sweetest Boy! Sorry to intrude of intrusive intrusion. Pray tell; do you have a… leather… bound copy of Aleister Crowley’s Illustrated Goetia and The Book Of The Sacred Magic Of Abra Melin The Mage. I am also interested in copies of the Luciferian Goetia and the Satanic Bible as well as any tomes published by Scarlet press, Starlight and Finbarr?
(Widely smiles of fluoridated Holy-Wood whitened teeth.)
FAUSTUS CROW: Yes, indeed! Just look to the bottom-shelf. Such Necronomicon tomes listing Incubi are our most popular Grimoires, as ever, of a continuing Abrahamic indoctrination. But if you to inform me of your Magickal intention, then, I might be able to help in shepherding you to the correct Sheep pen, of a work sought for.
(Mr Pope Priestly becomes emotively poetic and rather thespian theatrical, of flamboyant gestures. It appears as if he is anally possessed by Aiwass, to be enjoying every moment of his possession, while to mediumistic channel grandiose prophecies via his Goetic Incubi.)
MR POPE PRIESTLY: My dearest Boy, I seek to become as King Solomon, to bind the patriarchal Spirit muscle, both heavenly and infernal to my divine Will. ‘Do What Thou Wilt Shall be the Whole Of The Law. Love Under Will, my Brothers all, of the Great White Brotherhood OTO Lodge; gathered to me as my gay sons of fairest Lucifer light. I endeavour to attain the most glorious Bornless Self androgyny of the hermaphrodite master of the Solomon’s temple. To forthwith rapidly usher in the new Aeon of the sodium fluoride dosed up metrosexual man. Amenta!
FAUSTUS CROW: AHA! All of the bottom-shelf tomes will aid you in your great bottom work of advertising your inflated Ego.
(Mr Pope Priestly hurriedly minces off to the bottom shelf all eager to find his desired Grimoires, with his ridden back side up in the air. Babalon Witch Hermione whispers to Faustus Crow, out of earshot hearing range, of Mr Pope Priestly.)
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: Just out of curiosity; I hope you don’t mind me asking you this, perhaps, rather untoward of question. But, do you invoke and evoke Incubi Angels and Demons, Mr?
(Flirtingly giggles acting very coquettish.)
FAUSTUS CROW: No Madam. My personal Tantric preference is that of the top-shelf triple X banned Grimoires. The top shelf tomes list all female Succubae both Angelic and Daemonic of Anima Witch. These Succubae I to bind around my erectile Dragon, ascending forth from amidst the amniotic dream waters astral, of seven Chakra lingam heads, crowned by ten Yoni sephiroth dimensional crowns.
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: Are you saying of arcane revelation, that there is an energetic sexual dynamic involved in Spirit conjurations. Likened to Yin and Yang, Sugar and Spice?
FAUSTUS CROW: Yes indeed. A sweaty Incubus enters unto a sugar plum Witch of a Shekhinah receptacle. Whence she to prophesy as an ecstatic Seidr Seeress. While a Yang Magician enters a Yin Succubus. As a Man would do a woman, who receives his ejaculated seed, of an emotively charged orgasmic mantra, Word Spell, uttered unto the microcosmic Yoni void, of her ever hungering womb dream. Hence, fertilising the spun Succubus into birthing the macrocosmic synchronistic flesh, of his desires. However, if the Magician is otherwise sexually orientated of choice, he can take on the Shekhinah role of the receptive feminine, to thereby be possessed by an Incubus. Whereupon he becomes an effeminate Biblical Prophet dallying with Animus Angels and his God, let alone that of Demons and his Devil, to placate with his OTO anus.
(Babalon Witch Hermione looks up at the top shelf. She notices a heavy black cloth of a shadowy veil. The cloth is embroidered with an Inverse pentagram, which is covered with accumulated dust. The cloth is covering a number of bulky tomes, upon a buckled black Yew shelf. She is full of Lilith curiosity, her intense feline eyes like Cat slits!)
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: Why are the top-shelf triple X Grimoires all covered up? Are they Evil books of the fallen Apple?
(Hermione’s Slytherin eyes look intense, hypnotising Faustus to surrender his soul to her seducing Witchcraft, of a long serpentine tongue hungrily licking her scarlet Lilith lips, at the thought of eating Eden’s rotten Apple!)
FAUSTUS CROW: Evil; Hell No! Such pentagram silver star works, I to have illustrated and written, of serious Apple core Sirius, which are part of a most secret tradition. Such works have been systematically persecuted and nigh eradicated by the Abrahamic cults for over 2000yrs. Whereupon you do not see any Grimoires, whether they be ancient or modern, listing Succubae to conjure, until I created them.
However, many a feminist Nun considers the triple X top-shelf Grimoires to be rather sexist of left-hand-Job pornography. Their judgement is a rather curious state of affairs; considering that the third-wave feminist Nun’s have so many Angelic and Demonic Incubi to Right-Hand play with, of secretive masturbatory trysts within their church cells. The sisters in the hood are the ones who created the Animus fixation upon their fatherly God and Bad-Boy Devil egregore, or to crucify a castrated Good-Guy Christ for the Hell of it.
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: I must say; you are a very Naughty Old-Goat!
(Her eyes are full of lustful mischief, while looking coquette, as if butter wouldn’t melt in her hot bubblegum sweet mouth.)
FAUSTUS CROW: And you my dear are a very salacious little Babalon of a Witch. May-haps you would like to join me for dinner this midnight eve Sabbat, of thirteenth hour, at the Skull and Crossbones inn of trance dance delights?
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: Only if you to most deeply teach me how to conjure Succubae. For I must admit; I swing both ways within the lonely dormitory of my lusting Imagination, to be now impatiently stirred by your mastery, which I most desire, of yearning passion to know of your Dragon to ride.
(Hermione leans seductively over the altar of a counter towards Faustus; her feline eyes burning lustful.)
FAUSTUS CROW: Agreed of pact, to verily seal this night; for my Goat horns do ache for your petite Virgin hand, to stroke them. Thence to arouse the third erect, in between; to be verily bloodied of Unicorn horn, when to penetrate thy Ninth-Gate hymen veil, of thine moist Shadow Kingdom, to enter unto.
BABALON WITCH HERMIONE: You are a very, very Bad-Boy of a Great Beast indeed. I know, let’s go and watch Fritz Lang’s Slytherin classic, Indian Tomb, before we shed our Skinwalker skins, in your Sultan’s palace.
(Dirty smile and lustful girlish giggle.)
(This banned Harry Potter episode was somewhat inspired by Monty Python’s ‘Pornographic Bookshop’ sketch, which was featured in the Flying Circus TV Show – Episode 36, which of numerology is verily reduced down to Nine of ‘Ninth Gate’ should you be into Masonic Monty Python conspiracy theories out of Polanski’s Holy-Wood.)